How to achieve a ‘Good Divorce’

This heading may seem a contradiction in terms, at such an emotional and difficult time, but if the parties can see their way to managing their expectations, and exiting a marriage in a civilised way, there are resources, tools and mechanisms which can aid that civilised outcome. These are designed to minimise antagonism and disputes and point the parties in the right direction to finalise their separation with self-respect.

In the event that a marriage is struggling, there are many therapeutic resources that can assist a couple in isolating the difficulties that have arisen, in the hope that the marriage is able to be saved. At Longmores we will always assess if there is prospect of marriage counselling, prior to the finality of divorce proceedings.

If divorce is inevitable, the impact on the parties and the children of the family should never be under-estimated. At Longmores we know that a well advised and guided path through the uncertainty of separation is critical, and only the instruction of an experienced family lawyer will serve the best interests of all parties in avoiding an embittered ending. To help you deal with the emotional fallout of your marriage, we will put you in contact with specialist counsellors or therapists. They will be able to provide you with emotional support, help you to think clearly and deal with the divorce in a civilised and reasonable way.

We will provide you with advice about how to seek an amicable and practical solution in relation to the issues that arise from your breakup. Where there are children, it is important that they are put first. We will give you advice regarding how to minimise the adverse effect of separation on them and achieve an outcome that is in their best interests. We can put you in contact with a child therapist to advise and assist you regarding how best to tell your children that you are getting a divorce and to help you understand and deal with the impact that this will have on them.

As to sorting out finances, we will take time to understand what is important to you, advise you on the likely outcome and negotiate the best possible result for you. If necessary, we will involve other specialists to give their expert advice on the valuation of assets, the tax implications of a settlement, pensions, financial planning and investment. Being reasonable and realistic when dealing with financial matters will assist in achieving an amicable, swift and fair settlement.

Whether you require assistance regarding the arrangements for your children, finances or other issues arising from a breakup, we will help you to try and resolve such matters without having to go through the stress and expense of court proceedings. We will take you through the alternative options to court proceedings, including lawyer led negotiations, mediation, collaborative law and arbitration and advise you regarding what we consider the best course of action for you.

The potential stress of any court proceedings and the increase in the acrimony over many months, even years, will inevitably take its toll on all concerned. By taking advantage of the alternative options to court proceedings, you will then have the ability to walk away from the marriage with a dignified outcome, which you have both engineered, with the appropriate professional guidance. Research shows that on-going conflict has a bigger impact on children than the divorce itself. Obtaining a ‘good divorce’ must therefore be preferable, to assist in your ability to continue to communicate with each other and co-parent your children.

If you need advice or assistance then please contact our Partner and Head of Divorce and Family, Tracey Dargan.

Please note the contents of this blog are given for information only and must not be relied upon. Legal advice should always be sought in relation to specific circumstances.